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Turd Polish

Welcome to the home of Dr. Guff's Original Turd Polish. The finest source available for polishing the dullest, dirtiest turds anywhere.


guff (guf) n. nonsense, rubbish, rot, crap... need we say more???

The old saying goes that "you can't polish a turd". Well, that's no longer true. The Original Dr. Guff's Turd Polish really works. If you have a product that doesn't work worth a crap, you can really make it shine with a generous coat, or two of my polish.

With a can of my polish, you can make almost any piece of crap shine.  Order yours today!
Who is Dr. Guff:
As an engineer, Dr. Guff was constantly being directed to rush product design and development to meet an unrealistic deadline. The primary sources of this were of course sales folks who promised delivery without concern for all of those meaningless details such as “can we really do this”.

Actually, the good Dr. is dedicated to bringing a slightly twisted and highly sarcastic attitude to engineering and manufacturing by distributing products that most people say can't be done.  

About us:
Dr. Guff's is dedicated to providing the highest quality worthless products available on the market. These are not low quality inferior products. On the contrary, inferior products were the motivation of our flagship product "Dr. Guff's Original Turd Polish".