Dr. Guff's Original
Our flagship product... Does your neighbor have an old car, boat, motorcycle, sitting in their yard, or driveway? Do you work with somebody who is constantly coming up with useless, or disastrous ideas? Then you need this product.
Pretty Pig Lipstick:
"Put some lipstick on that PIG!" They’ll squeal louder than Ned Beatty when they get this product. It’ll make you look as fine as a swine!